Suggested Reading

Curling up with a book can sometimes be what we need in times of grief. A book is a resource we can return to again, and again. Unlike browsing the internet with general search terms, a book can allow us concrete access to something known.

Luckily for us, a number of people have already created really great recommended reading lists, so we'll redirect you to them.

First, we recommend the booklist at Glow In The Woods. Glow is a great online resource for high quality writing, and if you're looking for a booklist, this one is second to none.

Second, Jennifer Pardini has written beautifully herself about loss, and she has an extensive list here. You'll see that her list begins with books, but then goes on to provide links to specific articles about specific topics, which can also be really helpful and better than generally searching around in cyberspace.

Many thanks to these great websites who have done our work for us.


Books on Grief &
Pregnancy/Infant Loss

 

Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby
by Deborah L. Davis
“In this new and updated edition, Deborah Davis encourages grieving and strives to cover many different kinds of loss, including information on issues such as the death of one or more babies from a multiple birth, pregnancy interruption, and the questioning of aggressive medical intervention. There is also a special chapter for fathers as well as a chapter on "protective parenting" to help anxious parents enjoy their precious living children. Most importantly, parents facing the death of a baby will find necessary support in this gentle guide.”

 

Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination
by Elizabeth McCracken

""This is the happiest story in the world with the saddest ending," writes Elizabeth McCracken in her powerful, inspiring memoir. A prize-winning, successful novelist in her 30s, McCracken was happy to be an itinerant writer and self-proclaimed spinster. But suddenly she fell in love, got married, and two years ago was living in a remote part of France, working on her novel, and waiting for the birth of her first child.

This book is about what happened next. In her ninth month of pregnancy, she learned that her baby boy had died. How do you deal with and recover from this kind of loss? Of course you don't -- but you go on. And if you have ever experienced loss or love someone who has, the company of this remarkable book will help you go on.

With humor and warmth and unfailing generosity, McCracken considers the nature of love and grief. She opens her heart and leaves all of ours the richer for it."

 

I Had a Miscarriage: A Memoir, a Movement
by Jessica Zucker

Sixteen weeks into her second pregnancy, psychologist Jessica Zucker miscarried at home, alone. Suddenly, her career, spent specializing in reproductive and maternal mental health, was rendered corporeal, no longer just theoretical. She now had a changed perspective on her life’s work, her patients’ pain, and the crucial need for a zeitgeist shift. Navigating this nascent transition amid her own grief became a catalyst for Jessica to bring voice to this ubiquitous experience. She embarked on a mission to upend the strident trifecta of silence, shame, and stigma that surrounds reproductive loss—and the result is her striking memoir meets manifesto.

 

It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
by Megan Devine

When a painful loss or life-shattering event upends your world, here is the first thing to know: there is nothing wrong with grief. "Grief is simply love in its most wild and painful form," says Megan Devine. "It is a natural and sane response to loss."

So, why does our culture treat grief like a disease to be cured as quickly as possible?

In It’s OK That You’re Not OK, Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we try to help others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both sides―as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner―Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, "happy" life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. In this compelling and heartful book, you’ll learn:

 

From Father to Father: Letters From Loss Dad to Loss Dad
by Emily R. Long

This book is a simple book of letters written for you, a grieving loss dad, from other loss dads who are living and surviving after the death of their precious child. In the pages of this book, fathers from around the world share letters of love from their hearts to yours with the hope that, maybe, in the darkest, loneliest hours of grief, you will find a little bit of comfort in the words of another father who has been where you are now. Too often a father’s grief and experience of loss is overshadowed or unacknowledged after the death of their children. This book offers acknowledgement and gives voice to the experience of fathers grieving their children. The fathers speaking through these pages offer support and recognition to let you know that you are not alone. They are here with you.

 

You Are Not Alone: Love Letters From Loss Mom to Loss Mom
by Emily R. Long

This book is a simple book of love written for you, a grieving loss mom, from other loss moms who have also heard those life-altering, soul-shattering words, “I’m sorry there is no heartbeat” or “I’m sorry, your baby is gone.” In the pages of this book, we share letters of love from our hearts to yours with the hope that, maybe, in the darkest, loneliest hours of grief, you will find a little bit of comfort in the words of another mother who has been where you are now. Our deepest desire is for you to know that you are not alone. We are with you. Although we desperately wish we didn’t have a reason to, we lovingly welcome you to our community of sister-mothers of loss. Let us wrap you in love and be a light in the darkness of grief.

 

Unexpecting: Real Talk on Pregnancy Loss
by Rachel Lewis

When your baby dies, you find yourself in a life you never expected. And even though pregnancy and infant loss are common, they're not common to you. Instead, you feel like a stranger in your own body, surrounded by well-meaning people who often don't know how to support you.

What you need during this time is not a book offering easy answers. You need a safe place to help you navigate what comes next.


Books for Pregnancy After Loss

 

Pregnancy After Loss: A day-by-day plan to reassure and comfort you
by Zoë Clark-Coates

Pregnancy should be a time of joyous anticipation, but those forty weeks can feel very different if you are one of the many women who has previously lost a baby. In Pregnancy After Loss, Zoe Clark-Coates has created a compassionate and essential guide to lead you, day by day, through your pregnancy.

Addressing such issues as facing fear, coping with scans and pregnancy milestones, building relationships with your medical team and processing your ongoing grief whilst pregnant, this is the comforting companion every pregnant woman needs by her side.

 

Pregnancy After Loss Support: Love Letters to Moms Pregnant After Loss
by Emily Long and Lindsey Henke

This book is a simple book of love written for you, a mom pregnant again after loss, from other loss moms who have been where you are now. In the pages of this book, we share letters of love from our hearts to yours with the hope that, maybe, in the darkest, loneliest hours of grief and fear, you will find a little bit of comfort in the words offered here. Our deepest desire is for you to know that you are not alone. We are with you. When needed, let us carry your hope for you when it feels impossible to find. Let us wrap you in love and be a light in the darkness as you carry both hope and fear and engage in the most courageous act – to choose for life after you have known death.


Books on Death and Grief for Kids

 

Perfectly Imperfect Family
by Amie Lands

Oftentimes referred to as a rainbow baby, children born after the death of a sibling often wonder about the one who came before them.

Perfectly Imperfect Family acknowledges the stigma associated with pregnancy loss, infant death, sibling grief, and including a baby who has died by demonstrating loving ways in which a family can continue to celebrate their beloved baby.

A must-have book for all families who have experienced the loss of a baby and want to normalize their perfectly imperfect family.

 

Rainbow Letters: A Book for Rainbow Babies
by Ceece Kelley

“You are a rainbow baby, the calm after the storm, the sun after cloudy days, one less reason to mourn.”

A guardian angel sibling sends a well-wishing message to the newest addition of their family. But how is it delivered?

Filled with whimsical illustrations and a touch of magic, Rainbow Letters celebrates rainbow babies―children born after pregnancy or infant loss―while capturing the beauty of life and beyond.

 

Ida, Always
by Caron Levis

Gus lives in a big park in the middle of an even bigger city, and he spends his days with Ida. Ida is right there. Always.

Then one sad day, Gus learns that Ida is very sick, and she isn’t going to get better. The friends help each other face the difficult news with whispers, sniffles, cuddles, and even laughs. Slowly Gus realizes that even after Ida is gone, she will still be with him—through the sounds of their city, and the memories that live in their favorite spots.

Ida, Always is an exquisitely told story of two best friends—inspired by a real bear friendship—and a gentle, moving, needed reminder that loved ones lost will stay in our hearts, always.

 

The Invisible String
by Patrice Karst

Parents, educators, therapists, and social workers alike have declared The Invisible String the perfect tool for coping with all kinds of separation anxiety, loss, and grief. In this relatable and reassuring contemporary classic, a mother tells her two children that they're all connected by an invisible string. "That's impossible!" the children insist, but still they want to know more: "What kind of string?" The answer is the simple truth that binds us all: An Invisible String made of love. Even though you can't see it with your eyes, you can feel it deep in your heart, and know that you are always connected to the ones you love. Does everybody have an Invisible String? How far does it reach? Does it ever go away? This heartwarming picture book for all ages explores questions about the intangible yet unbreakable connections between us, and opens up deeper conversations about love.